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Jake Harper
Jacob David "Jake" Harper is a fictional character portrayed by Angus T. Jones in the American sitcom Two and a Half Men. Jake was ten years old at the start of the series. Jake is the son of Alan Harper and Judith Harper and the nephew of Charlie Harper. A recurring theme with his character is having really low grades and eating a lot, as he's lazy. He is the butt of many jokes in the show due to his general lack of smarts, understanding of a word, and self confidence, as well as being oblivious to the fact he is being made fun of. He is a reasonably nice kid but he's also lazy and unmotivated, particularly when it comes to his schoolwork (he barely passed into high school). Alan once hoarded money from his chiropractic clinic by saying he couldn't count on Jake to support him when he grew old, saying, "The only hope for him is if missing the toilet becomes a professional sport." His grandmother Evelyn has said she will pay for Jake's college education and buy him a car when/if he gets into a university, but she also discovered that, somewhat surprisingly, Jake is an excellent cook, which might be a viable career path for the food-loving lad. Jake also likes to undertake expensive hobbies and then give up on them, which annoys Alan because he has to pay for them under his child support agreement. When Alan fell into a depression after his second divorce, Jake told his father that he loved him but added, "You're my dad...I pretty much HAVE to love you." Contrary to popular belief, Jake does not sing the intro song and the "half men" refers to the fact that Jake is "half an adult". While Jake is one of the three central characters, he is featured less than Charlie Harper and Alan Harper and there have been some episodes where he is not in any central story lines and is only heard from briefly. Alan once told a date that his ex-wife Judith has primary custody of Jake, which explains where Jake is when he's not around his father and uncle. Throughout the sixth season no one knows that Jake found out what happened between Alan and Judith---except Charlie---because Jake wanted to make sure it wasn't the truth but Charlie told him it was. Jake thinks it's cool because he wants to see Judith's reaction if his half sister is his full sister. Jake can also play the guitar. Originally it was a form of rebellion, but it eventually became a hobby. When he first introduced his guitar skills into the show he wasn't very good, but he has drastically improved as he helped Charlie Harper to write a song for a Japanese kids' T.V. show in exchange for cliff notes for his book report on Lord of the Flies. Not Long ago, Jake made friends with Eldridge, a kid who hates his parents and plays drums. Eldridge is always thinking of things to do and they usually get him into trouble. Jake recently found out his dad was dating Eldridges mom and after he found out told Alan and Charlie he wanted to live with Judith and Herb, Alan however promised Jake he wouldn't keep secrets from him anymore and came to live with hi and Charlie again. Personality While Jake is in general a reasonably nice kid, he is most of the time very lazy and a procrastinator. He is also extremely unmotivated, particularly when it comes to his schoolwork (he barely passed into high school), often doing more work to avoid doing school work. Jake is shown to love food and is always eating. He is also sloppy and spills food on his clothes, staining them. Because of Jake's lifestyle of eating and laziness, Charlie calls him a variety of nicknames, such as: Spongebob Smearpants, Mister Potato Head, Dopehead, Slug, Stupid One, Sir-Farts-Alot, etc. He is also very selfish, as well as oblivious to his selfish personality. Overall Jake is displayed numerous times to just be a complete idiot that everyone besides Jake appears to be aware of. Notable love interests Robin Newberry An unseen character, she was a one episode feature when she provided Jake with a cup cake. Alan got really upset that Jake went to Charlie for "cup cake advice" which could have been meant as a euphemism about sex. She broke up with Jake, which made him start to bake his own cup cakes. Wendy Cho Though never seen on the series, Wendy was Jake's first real girlfriend. Their relationship began at Wendy's party in season 3's "Just Once with Aunt Sophie", after Charlie gave Jake advice on how to approach her. She broke up with him in season 4's "A Pot Smoking Monkey"; Jake tells Charlie it's because she's in advanced classes and he's in remedial classes. It was mentioned she was of Chinese descent, plays violin, and doesn't like sports. Taylor Jake developed a crush on a girl named Taylor in season 4's "Release the Dogs." This was, however, made awkward by the fact that Charlie made out with Taylor's mom even after promising Jake otherwise. Sophie In season 4's " Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous," Jake became smitten with a girl named Sophie (Kay Panabaker), who is the daughter of Alan's gay friend Greg. They presumably stopped seeing each other because Jake accused Alan of "breaking up with" Greg after the latter found Charlie "attractive." Nicole O'Malley Also never seen in the series, Nicole was described as the "hottest girl in Jake's class" in season 5's "Kinda Like Necrophilia". After being dumped by his previous girlfriend, Jake seeks advice; Charlie tells him to call up Nicole. Taking this advice, Jake asks Nicole to the winter dance. Nicole is a bit confused about who Jake is; he explains that he is the one with the big head who sits next to her in geometry. Nevertheless, she accepts, and is never mentioned again. In season 7's "Fart Jokes, Pie And Celeste," a girl referred to only as Nicole calls Jake and invites him down to the pier after she hears he broke up with Celeste. It is unknown if this is Nicole O'Malley; Jake tells Charlie he doesn't know who she is, but it's possible he simply doesn't remember her. In the episode "Tinkle like a Princess" Jake is seen on Charlies deck with a girl named Nicole but it's unknown if she was this Nicole. Milly Jake had developed a crush on the daughter, Milly (Hayley Erin), of a woman Charlie dated but whose name Charlie cannot remember in season 5's "Winky-Dink Time". In an attempt to get Milly to like him, Jake sets up a double-date; himself and Charlie with Milly and her mother. The date does not end well, especially when Jake reveals that Charlie had forgotten Milly's mother's name. Milly is into Gwen Stefani (whom Jake believes is a band) but against dodgeball. Jake tries to impress her by telling her he plays guitar in a band. Celeste Burnett In season 6's "The Mooch At the Boo", Charlie spots Jake spying on the neighbor girl, Celeste, who turns out to be the daughter of fictional NFL great Jerome Burnett (Michael Clarke Duncan). A reluctant Charlie helps him break the ice with her, only for Jake and Celeste to disappear together all afternoon. When Charlie and Jerome return to the Burnetts' house, they are shocked to find Jake and Celeste kissing on the front porch. It was later explained by Jerome that Jake was a "perfect gentleman" to her and "she wanted to kiss him," which puzzles Charlie. Celeste is mentioned, but not seen, in "The Two-Finger Rule" as Jake's girlfriend, but Charlie, Alan, and Jerome share the opinion that Celeste is dating Jake to punish Jerome. In "Warning, It's Dirty," she breaks up with him after catching him with another girl. Jake spends the next episode writing songs to try and win her back, but Charlie tells him not to play any of them and to just apologize. He does, but she still says she never wants to see him again. He appears to be over her at the end, since he accepts another girl's invitation to go down to the pier. Janine Jake is often shown to have an age-inappropriate taste for older women, such as the cocktail waitress Janine (Emily Rose) in season 6's "Thank God for Scoliosis." Janine had also caught Charlie's eye at the time, however Jake is the one who has any success. Birthday Jake was born on March 14,1994. His birthday is the code for the alarm in his mother's house. Family History Family Father: Alan Jerome Harper Mother: Judith Harper-Melnick Paternal grandfather: Francis Charles "Frank" Harper; deceased Paternal grandmother: Evelyn Nora Harper Maternal grandmother: Lenore Maternal grandfather: Fred Maternal great-grandfather: Bill Half sister: Mildred "Milly" Melnick (possibly his full sister) Stepmother: Kandi (formerly) Stepfather: Herbert Gregory "Herb" Melnick Uncle: Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper Aunts: Liz, Myra (step-aunt), Betty, Gloria (possibly half aunt) Category:Minor Characters Category:Main Characters Category:Stubs